Thursday, November 4, 2010

This is not a nice post

Have you ever been so mad at a person that you want to write them a letter about how much you hate them? And though you have every reason to write about actual terrible things that they did, you are so incredibly, horribly mad at them that you only want to ridiculously hyperbolic insults because those are the only things that come close to adequately describing the rage you feel?

For example, while "You are a terrible communicator, and I feel like you are always talking down to me," is true, what you want to say is "You smell so bad that even your grandmother hates you!"

I once wrote a letter (never sent) to a boy that said, (among other things, because the actual letter was seven pages long) "I hope your apartment building gets hit by a meteor and (roommates' names redacted) have to eat you to survive*. Also, your hair looks like pubes.**"

*Not actually true but correctly representing the rage I was, at the time, feeling.
**Kind of true, but mean.

This is what my feelings are feeling right now:

Dear Horrible Person:
I hate you. You are literally Hitler. Also, you are fat.
You suck,

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