Yesterday, I went to a Sustainable Connections monthly member luncheon. Sustainable Connections is a phenomenal organization in Bellingham that promotes local, sustainable business. They're the ones responisble for all of the 'Buy Local' paraphenalia that you see around town. If I decide to grad school in Bellingham, Sustainable Connections is about 60% of the reason why. Bellingham is a national model of sustainable, locally-based economy, and, as that is the kind of business I want to go in to, it seems reasonable to want to stick around.
Anyway, at the monthly membership luncheon, we watched a short film called 'The Story of Stuff'. I really think everyone should watch it. Now, I am not suggesting that everyone should become freegans, but I am pro-conscious consumerism.
You can watch the whole thing (it's about 20 minutes long) on her website http://www.storyofstuff.com/.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
My successor
On July 12, 2008, I will be replaced by a new VISTA, fresh from VISTA training in Provo. They will finish training on July 11, fly back from Utah that night (if they are like me, they will proceed to 80's night and get hit on by an 18 year old who wants to have a threesome in his Saab.), and the next morning, report to work. The new VISTA will most likely not meet the previous VISTA; most likely they will just be set adrift with a vague workplan and a lap top.
If I was a kind, compassionate person, I would recall my confusion and desparation in my early weeks as a VISTA, and respond by leaving a clearly-labled filing systems, accurately-named computer documents, and perhaps a list of important things to know. However, it is much more fun to think of ways to make life difficult for my successor. (They'll thank me for it eventually anyways. The more effeciently they'll be able to do their job, the less time it will take them to do it, leading to more time spent staring vacantly at the wall. Anytime not spent staring at the wall is good time, generally speaking.)
Here are some things that I thought I could do:
- Title all Publisher documents with acronyms that are only comprehensible to me: apdepdonapsp2 is obviously the second version of an advertisement in Spanish for Appliance Depot's appliance removal service
- Start and get halfway through a huge mailing project, to the point where I do all the easy envelope stuffing and label making, but the new VISTA has to make all the follow up calls.
- Title all spreadsheets things like 'Family Vacation' and 'Cute Puppies'.
- Change phone number on letterheads and business cards to fax number, so people can never return phone calls.
Any other ideas?
If I was a kind, compassionate person, I would recall my confusion and desparation in my early weeks as a VISTA, and respond by leaving a clearly-labled filing systems, accurately-named computer documents, and perhaps a list of important things to know. However, it is much more fun to think of ways to make life difficult for my successor. (They'll thank me for it eventually anyways. The more effeciently they'll be able to do their job, the less time it will take them to do it, leading to more time spent staring vacantly at the wall. Anytime not spent staring at the wall is good time, generally speaking.)
Here are some things that I thought I could do:
- Title all Publisher documents with acronyms that are only comprehensible to me: apdepdonapsp2 is obviously the second version of an advertisement in Spanish for Appliance Depot's appliance removal service
- Start and get halfway through a huge mailing project, to the point where I do all the easy envelope stuffing and label making, but the new VISTA has to make all the follow up calls.
- Title all spreadsheets things like 'Family Vacation' and 'Cute Puppies'.
- Change phone number on letterheads and business cards to fax number, so people can never return phone calls.
Any other ideas?
This is the job I want
3. Conversation baristas: These employees don't actually sell coffee; they engage in small talk or, if this is your choice, large talk. They're filled with interesting anecdotes (all of them preapproved by the home office) and provocative yet noncontroversial opinions. They could even have areas of expertise and wear signs around their necks: "Philosophy," "Sports," "Entertainment," "Travel," "Free-form whining." Conversation is, as always, optional.
From:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/03/03/DDJ7VASP6.DTL
From:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/03/03/DDJ7VASP6.DTL
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
24/7 commitment to AmeriCorps
When you become an AmeriCorps VISTA they send you to a large, 3-day training in an exotic location like Provo, Utah. At this training, you are forced to sit in a circle and discuss your feelings about poverty. Crying is encouraged. Strangely enough, this was not the highlight of my trip to Provo. The highlight was when Nicole and I went to the Monte L. Bean Science Museum on the Brigham Young University campus with her VISTA supervisor Christopher James 'Mancub' Cochran and his sould twin, P. Ryan. This was not actually a science museum. It was actually just a building filled with taxidermy. Here are some examples:
Something else that they tell you during VISTA training is that you make a 24/7 commitment to your organization. They are not kidding. You are literally supposed to be available to work for WHENEVER they could possibly want you to work.
Usually, on Thursdays, I work from 9 to 4 and then go to yoga. However, today I have to attend a customer service training from 4 to 6. I don't even do customer service. Now, I realize that attending a two hour training instead of yoga is not a flagrant abuse of the 24/7 policy (unlike the egregious exploitation of my VISTA status this past weekend), but I really wanted to go to yoga today. Plus, Chloe, the office black lab, is taunting me by doing yoga poses. She was just doing the cat/cow stretch. Silly Chloe! You should be doing downward dog!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Why you should always read the fine print
As the Community Outreach Coordinator for a local nonprofit organization, part of my job is to research local events in which we could participate. While performing this task, I came accross Lynden's Holland Days which "celebrate Lynden's Dutch heritage." This events attracts hundreds of people, many of whom are probably in need of an affordable, quality used appliance. I sent along the vendor application to my boss, and encouraged our appearance. He sent me back a copy of the submitted application form with a note that read, "Looks like a great opportunity. Did you notice that you'll have to dress Dutch?" I went back and read over the rules and regulations (events in Lynden always have many rules and regulations), and, sure enough, one of the points was "vendors are strongly encouraged to dress in traditional Dutch costume." Oh, well. It gives me an excuse to buy those wooden shoes I have been wanting.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Boyfriends
In my life, I have had two boyfriends (Right, Nicole?), but I don't have one now. Here is a list of my top eleven fake boyfriends:
10. Andy Bernard from The Office. Most girls would probably pick Jim, but they just don't know how to have fun in a relationship.
9. Bill Haverchuck from Freaks and Geeks. Just look at that smile!
8. Nick from Freaks & Geeks. He plays the drums. I have a thing for drummers. He romantically recites metal lyrics to his girlfriend.
7. Eric from Undeclared. He works at Copy Town and could make me a pillowcase with his face on it.
11. Mr. Darcy. He's handsome, he's rich, he's kind of an asshole...what's not to love?
10. Andy Bernard from The Office. Most girls would probably pick Jim, but they just don't know how to have fun in a relationship.
9. Bill Haverchuck from Freaks and Geeks. Just look at that smile!
8. Nick from Freaks & Geeks. He plays the drums. I have a thing for drummers. He romantically recites metal lyrics to his girlfriend.
7. Eric from Undeclared. He works at Copy Town and could make me a pillowcase with his face on it.
6. Stephen Cobert. Date, Do, or Dump: Conan O'Brien, Stephen Colbert, and John Stewart? Dump Conan, Do John, and Date Steve.
5. The Natural. Oh, hey there Robert Redford in baseball pants.
4. Barack Hussein Obama. I'm looking for a man with a body like Barack and a Denzel Face.
3. Justin Timberlake. The way he moves is so hot.
2. Special Agent Fox Mulder. Newsflash: I am actually a huge geek, and nowhere is it more apparent than in my love for the X-Files. I am almost as excited about the new X-Files movie as the Olympics. Call me, Mulder!
1. Indiana Jones. He was my first love. I was four when The Last Crusade came out and I've never looked back. When I was seven or so, it was announced that there weren't going to be anymore Indiana Jones movies. According to my mom, I started crying. The new Indiana Jones movie is more exciting than the Olympics.
This weekend
While there were other ways I would have preferred to spend my weekend, it could have been worse. Here are some things I enjoyed about my weekend:
1. There was an abundance of attractive men with manly professions like 'carpenter' and 'builder' and 'hot tub installer' wandering around.
2. My boss said I didn't have to come in until 2 on Saturday, and then called and made me come in at 12:30. Oh, wait. That was something I didn't enjoy about my weekend.
3. On Saturday night, I went out with a group of extremely fun ladies. At the Royal, we pretended that it was Courtney's bachelorette party and dedicated a song to her. Then I had french fries.
4. I just had a bean, cheese, and rice burrito from Diego's, and it was the best BCR I have ever had.
5. Only two more hours and the show is over!
6. A seven year old boy told me a story about when his mom accidently put the phone in the washing machine. It was hillarious.
7. Awhile ago, I purchased Cruel Intentions (an example of film making at its finest) on VHS. I watched it on Saturday night, and, as I couldn't find the remote, I watched all of the previews. I must have been feeling particularly impressionable because the trailers convinced me I needed to watch Idle Hands.
8. My roommate called from Vegas because she saw Flava Flav playing craps. She is on the lookout for Bret Michaels.
Side note: Last weekend, I accidently went to a party with a stripper pole, and now I have a lot more respect for Tila Tequila. It takes a lot of upper body strength to hold onto a stripper pole.
9. I worked an extra 21 hours this weekend. This will be useful in April, when I am in Hawaii instead of at work. Woo! Hawaii!
10. I sent in my applications to Notre Dame and Seattle U. Four down, two to go. Plus, I got into Western. I'm now 2 for 3 on my attempts to get into Western. I hear from Notre Dame and UC Santa Barbara this week. Keep your fingers crossed. Not that I really want to move to Indiana. I checked weather, and it was like seven degrees below zero.
11. The Penguin Windows booth is just down the aisle from me, and the people working there have to wear tuxedos. I don't have to wear a tuxedo.
1. There was an abundance of attractive men with manly professions like 'carpenter' and 'builder' and 'hot tub installer' wandering around.
2. My boss said I didn't have to come in until 2 on Saturday, and then called and made me come in at 12:30. Oh, wait. That was something I didn't enjoy about my weekend.
3. On Saturday night, I went out with a group of extremely fun ladies. At the Royal, we pretended that it was Courtney's bachelorette party and dedicated a song to her. Then I had french fries.
4. I just had a bean, cheese, and rice burrito from Diego's, and it was the best BCR I have ever had.
5. Only two more hours and the show is over!
6. A seven year old boy told me a story about when his mom accidently put the phone in the washing machine. It was hillarious.
7. Awhile ago, I purchased Cruel Intentions (an example of film making at its finest) on VHS. I watched it on Saturday night, and, as I couldn't find the remote, I watched all of the previews. I must have been feeling particularly impressionable because the trailers convinced me I needed to watch Idle Hands.
8. My roommate called from Vegas because she saw Flava Flav playing craps. She is on the lookout for Bret Michaels.
Side note: Last weekend, I accidently went to a party with a stripper pole, and now I have a lot more respect for Tila Tequila. It takes a lot of upper body strength to hold onto a stripper pole.
9. I worked an extra 21 hours this weekend. This will be useful in April, when I am in Hawaii instead of at work. Woo! Hawaii!
10. I sent in my applications to Notre Dame and Seattle U. Four down, two to go. Plus, I got into Western. I'm now 2 for 3 on my attempts to get into Western. I hear from Notre Dame and UC Santa Barbara this week. Keep your fingers crossed. Not that I really want to move to Indiana. I checked weather, and it was like seven degrees below zero.
11. The Penguin Windows booth is just down the aisle from me, and the people working there have to wear tuxedos. I don't have to wear a tuxedo.
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