I am so ready to be done with grad school

Don't get me wrong, I love learning.

In fact, if I was getting paid for grad school and not living in the land of the fake boobs and terrible coffee, I think I could do it forever.

But I have 22 weeks left, and I am so ready to be done. I think part of the problem that I keep finding awesome jobs that are hiring RIGHT NOW, and awesome apartments that are renting RIGHT NOW, and awesome, cheap Le Creuset kitchen ware for sale on ebay RIGHT NOW and I want all of these things.

Grrrr.

Kitchen fail

I really wanted oatmeal this morning, but I didn't have any oats.

So I attempted to make an oat-meal like dish (milk, honey, cinnamon, nutmeg) with couscous.

It didn't work.

It wasn't terrible, and I ate it.

But it was not like oatmeal.

I rate it as an oatmeal facsimile failure.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings

When I'm feeling sad, I simply remember my favorite things,

and then I don't feel so bad!

1. Pictures of Bill Cosby wearing sweaters.

2. Imagining the Shrek donkey singing Party all the Time.

3. Manic Monday

4. Watching youtube videos of musical numbers.

5. When hipsters almost fall off their skateboards because their bangs are in the way.

6. Babies dressed as food.

Beat that, KJW

Tonight for dinner I made Carmelized Apples and Onions with Quinoa and Lentils a Greek Yogurt a Greek Yogurt Garnish.

I am awesome.

I love Liz Lemon

I want to go to there...

Midnight Train To Georgia - 30 ROCK - watch more funny videos

Hobbies

I realized that I have a really difficult time answering when people ask me what I do for fun.

I'm not boring...I do things that are fun, but I usually end up answering, "Ummm...I ride my bike, and, uh, I go to the gym, and, uhhh, I'm in a book club..." I could never figure out why I couldn't answer that question well.

I think I figured it out. My main hobby is 'reading about things on the internet'.

No specific topic, or area of interest. I just like learning about things. This week, I've learned about:

- Preserving fresh basil (I performed a science experiment!)

- Feral children (Most have been proven fake!)

- Lyme disease (There's a contreversy!)

- Amelia Earhardt

Now, I have an answer, "My hobbies include reading about things on the internet, and embroidery."

Awesome quotes from facebook picture comments.

Jodi (re a Better Lovers group picture): This is great also. I miss you ladies already!

Nicole: Jodi, calling us "ladies" is so junior high gymnastics team.

Things I bought today at the farmer's market

- Fresh basil, thyme, rosemary, and lavender

- Butternut squash

- Heirloom tomatoes

- Sweet potatoes

- Onions

- Serrano peppers

- Nectarines

- Salad mix

- Carrots

Things that I am going to make with this food:

- Rosemary sweet potato fries

- Vanilla mashed sweet potatoes

- Maple glazed butternut squash

- Spicy cheddar biscuits

- Lavender lemon pound cake

- Margherita pizza with whole wheat crust

hobbies

I've decided to take up embroidery.

This, in addition with my recent Carly Simon obsession makes me think that I am possibly actually 45 years old.

That's it.

That's it. The "Sexy fill-in-the-blank" Halloween costume trend is officially over.

I declare it.

Sexy Environmentalist?

Really, America?

Really?

Damn I love Carly Simon

If that means I can't be cool anymore, I'm okay with that.

Something exciting came in the mail!

This came in the mail today!

I'm so excited to start using it!

Though, I should probably admit that I'm eating toast with peanut butter and honey for dinner tonight.

I know what I did this summer part 2

I have had a pretty low key summer. Sometimes when I get bored, I cook things and then take pictures of them. Here are some delicious things that I have made:

Magical Veggie Pizza:

- Crust: whole wheat flour, yeast, sugar, water 

- Sauce: tomato puree, basil, garlic, oregano

- Toppings: mozzarella cheese, roma tomatoes, spinach, onions, green peppers, olives, fairy dust, and aritchokes

Peach Pie:

- I sadly did not take pictures of my wonderful, excellent, enticing peach pie. I think that it was so amazing that it would have broken my camera with its beauty.

- The peach pie making was an adventure. I rode the bike I was borrowing this summer to Albertson's, which is about two miles from my apartment. I bought enough groceries to completely stuff my backpack. When I got back to my bike, I noticed the tire was flat. I really did not want to walk two miles home pushing a bike with a flat tire and a twenty pound back pack. So I called my friend with a van to come pick me up. And he did. Making a friend who has a van was probably the second best thing I did this summer. Take it from me, everyone should have a friend with a van.

- The recipe called for 10 peaches. I only needed four. What kind of tiny peaches do you have, recipe author?

- My peach pie was phenomenal. It even had a fancy crissy-crossy crust.

Challah Bread:

- One Friday, I did not have very much work to do, so I made challah bread.

- I even completed making the bread before sundown. If I decide to convert to Judaism, I have one skill down.

- It was whole wheat challah. I don't know if it's supposed to be made out of whole wheat flower.

- Did you know that the plural of challah is challot? Of course you did, because you followed the Wikipedia link above and learned all about the bread and its related traditions.

- I did not sing songs from Fiddler on the Roof while baking this bread, but if I make it again, I will be sure to do so.

Green Bean and Tofu Curry:

- This picture is actually just a picture of regular cooked green beans, but I did make green bean and tofu curry.

- It had green beans, tofu, curry powder (duh), coconut milk, rice, green pepper, onions, pepper flakes, garlic, and then three times the amount of curry powder that the recipe recommended.

- The third most exciting thing that happened this summer (behind making friends with someone with a van and a mysterious event that will be further explained in a later blog) was the fact that I got over many of my vegetable aversions. I've always liked most vegetables raw. Raw carrots, raw broccoli, raw celery, raw peas, frozen corn,

 etc. The one major exception to this was tomatoes. I've always hated raw tomatoes. Cooked tomatoes, I'm fine with, but I hated raw tomatoes. I think it's the texture. This summer, however, I forced myself to get over the texture issue and discovered that I like raw tomatoes. As long as they don't surprise me.

- After my tomato success, I decided to attack my number one vegetable foe: green beans. I've always hated, hated, hated green beans. Just the smell made me gag. Turns out, I don't hate green beans. I hate canned green beans. Fresh green beans, blanched with olive oil and garlic and parmesan cheese are excellent. Green beans in Pad Thai or Curry are excellent.

- I still hate canned green beans. 

Raaaawwwrrr!!!!!

I know what I did this summer

Here's a list of some of the things I've done this summer:

- One of the things that I did this summer was go to Wyoming. Jackson (not Jacson), Wyoming, to be specific.

- I went there to visit Kelly and Hamblesaurus Rex. Wyoming is the farthest east I've been, so far, in the United States.

- On my first day there, I saw an awesome rainbow.

- Kelly lived in a wood paneled basement that came fully equipped with a fancy scrabble board and the first three Twilight books.

- I'm only a little ashamed to admit that I read all three while on my vacation.

- I did more exciting things as well, like playing slightly

inebriated wiffle ball in Drew's humongous backyard.

- Kelly and I also played disc golf on a very steep course.

- I saw lots of wildlife, including my first wild bison and my first wild bear.

- The wildlife I saw included, but not limited to, bison, elk, moose, red winged black bird, canadian geese, kinky mallard ducks, prong horn antelope, GRIZZLY BEAR, Kelly at 7 in the morning, several dogs.

- I got a shirt that features a wolf, moose, elk AND bear, mountains, a moon, and it glows in the dark.

- Kelly and I made a day trip to Yellowstone where we saw many interesting geologic features, including yellow stones and we were possibly struck by lightening.

I like camping

From one of my favorite websites, Stuff White People Like:

#128 Camping

Things I want to buy, but I won't because I have $65 in my checking account

1. How to Cook Everything Vegetarian by Mark Bittman*

2. Seasons 1 & 2 of Mad Men

3. Bizarre Clothing from American Apparel**

4. Bike Shoes

5. A baby giraffe

* I will buy this when I get paid. I am so excited!

** 1. I am not embarrassed about my fervor for bizarre clothing.

     2. It says something about the state of my life that there are three (3) nanotechnology      companies that came up in my history that begin with "american" when I was attempting to access the American Apparel website.

Overheard in a coffee shop in Santa Barbara

Sorority Girl, holding Cat Fancy magazine, "Wait, I thought Stephen Hawking wrote fiction?"

Camping

If you are a Better Lover, or if you have an opinion on where we go camping, go here.

Tour de France 2009

I am rooting for Christian Vande Velde





I currently do with my life:

- Wake up
- Go to work
- Go to the gym
- Eat
- Watch the Tour de France

texts from today

(509): I asked dan if he wanted to see harry potter tonight. He said maybe. The correct answer is- of course. I'll meet you there in my Hagrid costume.

(360): He didn't say that?

(509): I couldn't believe it. I may have to end things.

(360): I would. You should give him once more chance. Go to the movie dressed as a dementor and see if he can use the right spell to defend himself.

(509): Perfect plan. I was going to go as dobby but this is more important.

(360): It really is. Defense against the dark arts man.

(509): I wish i could go with kris 'luna lovegood' rafferty and jodi 'voldemort' swobodi.

(360): what about nicole whomping willow raden?

(509): You're more of a flying car.

(360): Or a broom stick

(509): Nimbus 2000?

(360): Firebolt

Text from my dad

Do you want a 2oth anniversrytrhoopfest tshirt

Jimmy Fallon, you have slightly redeemed yourself

Mark Paul Gosselar was on Jimmy Kimmel last night to promote his new show, but he was IN CHARACTER AS ZACH MORRIS!



Now if we can just get that Full House reunion.

By the way, I was just on the "Olson Twins News" website in public. That's a little embarrassing.

I really wish that this were a real toy.

I bet my dad would make one of these for me.

Procrastination

1. Which is a worse offense to humanity:
Jessica Simpson singing You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) or the Pussicat Dolls version of Tainted Love?

Note: I really like the Flo Rida version.
Note: I just noticed that Flo + Rida = FLORIDA

2. Literal Versions of Music Videos.

3. Dream Jobs:
   a. Environmental manager of a brewery by day, 80s DJ by night.
   b. Blondie
   c. Professional beach volleyball player.

   d. Costume designer for Salt, Pepa, and DJ Spinderella.

4. Where should I go on vacation this summer, Nature's Closet to visit Kelly and Hamblesaurus Rex or Boston to visit Emily and Clelia?

Sad news

Someone stole my bike.

She was a purple Trek road bike with hot pink handlebar tape and a matching water bottle holder.

Her name was Scout.

This is the bike I'm getting as a replacement:

Just kidding. Maybe when I marry Ludacris.
But this guy did sleep on my couch once. It's my only claim to fame.

Interesting quote from my environmental law notes

"EPA had to 'hammer' out lead even though it would be easier to 'screw' it away."

F My Life

I missed my flight from San Francisco because I was in the wrong part of the airport.

I'm going to take it as a sign from God to waste money on a wireless internet day pass.

But, hey, I've got the internet, I've got a book, I've got a crossword puzzle, I've got several episodes of Dexter season 3, life could be worse.

This is getting out of hand

So I had another dream about our President. Oh, hey there Barack...

In this dream I was helping the Obamas pick out bathing suits. He and Michelle were looking at matching swimsuits (the pattern on his board shorts matched the pattern on her elegant one piece). 

BHO was worried that his shorts "looked like hammer pants."

I said, "Well, they kind of do...but in the best way possible."

BHO wondered, "Is there a good way for my shorts to resemble hammer pants?"

Then Michelle, Barack, and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Then I woke up.

I am considering changing the title of this blog to "Transcripts of weird dreams about the Obama family".

Get out of my dream...and into my car

I had another dream about my favorite president, BHO.

In this dream, my father (my actual dad, not Obama) had been accused of a crime he did not commit. And I think I was still in high school? Maybe? This part is a little fuzzy. Anyway, my dad was falsely accused of some heinous crime that I believe involved stealing gasoline, a car chase, and someone running over a police officer. Anyway, I was just APPALLED at the idea of going to school the next day, because everyone would think my dad was guilty, and I had more important things to do, like clearing his name. This was obviously a busy and stressful day, so when I finally had time to check my phone, I had three missed calls. Two were from Barack Obama, and one was from Jeff Goldblum. In this universe, this was totally normal because I was not phased at all to have these people in my missed calls. I knew BHO would help clear my father's name, so I immediately attempted to call him back. Unfortunately, I accidently dialed Jeff Goldblum's number. He answered right away and informed me that he had called because the studio was releasing a special edition dvd of Jurassic Park and they wanted the stars to do a commentary track (Apparently, in this universe, I had also starred in Jurassic Park, which is totally awesome and in my top ten movies of all time.). I was like, "Great, Jeff Goldblum, I'm kind of busy right now," but he just kept blabbing on. It was like, come on, Jeff Goldblum, mechanical dinosaurs ARE awesome, but I have to call back the leader of the free world, and save my dad...

I woke up before I could call back Obama, so I guess I'll never know if my dad went down for a crime he didn't commit.

Dreams of my (fake) father

Last night I dreamed that I was the oldest Obama daughter.

Obama was totally a Harrison-Ford-in-Air-Force-One-badass president and we were riding in a jeep to some do some top secret (most likely badass) mission.

Because it was so top secret, we couldn't have any secret service with us, so Barack had to infiltrate the enemy head quarters solo while I distracted the evil government officials from Some-Other-Country-istan.

But because my father, Barack Obama, did not want me to be unsafe, I did all my secret agent-ing from the back of a highly trained, extremely effective security elephant.

Sadly, I woke up before I found out if our mission had been a successful one.

Reason #9,642 not to wear clogs

When I got back from class today, I could not find my phone anywhere. After panicked-ly ransacking my room and swearing a great deal, I found my phone.

It was inside of my clog that had been in the same pocket of my backpack as my phone.

Now my phone smells like foot.

Don't let the patriarchy get you down!

This is adorable.

I may have slightly teared up when I watched it.

Karma

I am currently slightly drunk, it a motel room in Sacramento, having played drinking games with my new (1/2 underaged) UCSB friends.

11 people were on a flight from Seattle to Sacramento, where we were supposed to catch a flight to Santa Barbara. The agents at the ticket counter INSISTED that we would make our connecting flight.

We did not.

We are therefore staying in California's not at all awesome state capital. It's no Olympia, that's for damn sure.

Early in the morning, we are shuttle-ing back to the airport, where we will (hopefully) fly to Santa Barbara in time for me to attend my Group Project kick off. Hopefully.

This is what I get for implying to my professor that I was having plane issues when, really, my plane issues were that the other flights conflicted with my Better Lovers meeting.

Karma

March MADNESS!

How I've been spending my spring break:

1. Wake up around 8 am.
2. Lay around, dozing on and off until 9 am.
3. Get up, drag a blanket to my dad's recliner in the living room.
4. Spend ten minutes trying to figure out how to turn on the tv.
5. Watch basketball.
6. Eventually, get hungry, go upstairs and make Cheerios.
7. Bring Cheerios downstairs.
8. Watch basketball.
9. Realize that I talk, out loud, to the tv.
10. Watch more basketball.
11. Make lunch.
12. Watch more basketball.
13. Go to dinner, at a bar, where we can watch basketball.
14. More basketball.
15. Sleep.

Grocery Shopping

Today I went to Albertson's and the homeless dude in front of me was purchasing the EXACT SAME $6 Albertson's vodka as I was.

It must be the good stuff.

Happy International Women's Day!

Feminism by Whirlpool

Sadly True

My life has literally reached its pinnacle

Justin Timberlake doing a John Mayer impersonation.



I think my ovaries exploded.

Trivia Question

Question: Who was the first female Secretary of the Interior?

Answer: Gale Norton. She sucked.

Why do we even need trees?

Sometimes, when it's a beautiful, sunny Saturday and I am inside writing a paper about grazing fees on public land, I want to say, "Screw you, Environment! Manage yourself."

I have bizarre dreams.

Here is a transcription of the dream I had last night.

Context: Kelly came back from Norway slightly
before Christmas, and we were hanging out. This is our exchange.

Lynn: Oh, hey Kelly, welcome back!
Kelly: Good to see you but I can’t hang out for very long.
Lynn: Oh, what are you doing?
Kelly: Scott and I are going shopping.
Lynn: What are you shopping for?
Kelly: Listen to this! Drew’s mom just called me and told me that when I come over there for Christmas, Drew is going to propose! So I am going shopping for wedding flowers.
Lynn: Oh, wow! Congratulations! When’s the wedding?
Kelly: Oh, not for like another year, and don't say anything because the proposal is supposed to be a surprise.
Lynn: Then why are you going flower shopping right now?
Kelly: Oh, Drew’s mom is going to hire a professional photographer to photograph the proposal, and she wanted me to pick out the flowers I want to have in the house, so the proposal pictures match the wedding pictures.

Kelly also informed me that the flowers were 'red, white, and blue, like the American flag'.

Dontcha wish your girlfriend was fun like me (big fun!)?

I am currently reading two papers. One is entitled "Tri-State Fertilizer Recommendations for Corn, Soybeans, Wheat, and Alfalfa". The other one is "Using Anhydrous Ammonia Safely on the Farm".

Here are some awesome pictures from these papers:

Personal protective equipment such as goggles, rubber gloves, and long-sleeved shirts are essential when handling anhydrous ammonia.

Skin exposed to ammonia should be flushed immediately with water. Remove contaminated clothes as soon as possible.

Things that are more fun than reading my statistics textbook:

1. Making itunes playlists.
2. Online shopping for cell phones.
3. Everything.

Crap I want from Urban Outfitters

It's midterms next week, so instead of studying I am browsing the Urban Outfitter website.

I would make a Lynn paper doll and have them get married.

A drink luge! You pour your drink in the top and it goes through the ice luge and is cold in your glass!

I would totally sleep with Blondie.

Look! It's a way to make drinks that looks like chemistry. I love drinks AND I love chemistry.

Thank you!

If it weren't for Wikipedia and Excel, I would fail grad school.

Thanks, Wikipedia and Excel inventors!

Jodi and I have even better analogies

From here

Seriously, could he get any dreamier?

Obama signs the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.

Way Better Than Ricky the Cat

Oh Obama!

Oh, BHO, you're already doing things I like. 

You're so dreamy...

USA! USA! USA!

OBAMA DAY! OBAMA DAY! I LOVE OBAMA DAY!

*

* This picture is from the website mychemicaltoilet.com

Since it is beach weather in Isla Vista, here are some swimsuits I won't be wearing anytime soon:

I am trying to make fetch happen.

I'm not joining mathletes, it's social suicide.

One time, I met John Stamos on a plane, and he told me I was pretty.

Yoga

I came across an article that was discussing what yoga positions would look best/worst when doing naked yoga. One mentioned was "camel."

As an amature yoga practitioner, I wondered what that pose looked like. I google imaged "yoga camel pose" and found some awesome specific yoga websites.

Yo Yoga






Yoga For IBS

What up, Madam Secretary!

"We have to expand civil and political rights in countries that are plagued by poverty, hunger, and disease. But our pleas will fall on deaf ears unless democracy actually improves people's lives while weeding out the corruption that too often stands in the way of progress.
Our foreign policy must reflect our deep commitment to help millions of oppressed people around the world. And of particular concern to me is the plight of women and girls, who comprise the majority of the world's unhealthy, unschooled, unfed, and unpaid. If half the world's population remains vulnerable to economic, political, legal and social marginalization, our hope of advancing democracy and prosperity is in serious jeopardy. The United States must be an unequivocal and unwavering voice in support of women's rights in every country on every continent."

Go Hilary!

It's 75 and sunny right now.

Raise your hand if you went running on the beach today and forgot to check the tides, and, as a result, inadvertently ran about 75% longer than you intended and went on an unexpected rock climbing adventure.

Have you met my new boyfriend?

I heart the internet

Want to waste some time on the internet? Like a serious amount of time? In the most awesome way possible?

Go here:
EVRI

It is the coolest search engine in the history of search engines. You search for something (like a person or product or famous animal or whatever) and it returns information, pictures, and, most awesomely, connections to other people, places, things, etc. Then you click on that. Boom. More information, more connections. Best of all, it keeps track of your connections so you know exactly how you got from 'My Little Pony' to 'Barack Obama'. 

If this had been around last year, I would have just kept my AmeriCorps position in order to spend most of my time on this website.

I'm not a music snob

I realize that I have rather eclectic music tastes, but really, itunes? This is the playlist that they recommended that I download:

1. That's Right...Ciara feat. Lil John

2. A Bay Bay (Ratchet Remix)...Hurricane Chris

3. In the Ayer (feat. Wil.i.am)...Flo Rida

4. Motown Philly...Boyz 2 Men

5. Joga...Ben Gibbard

6. Bizarre Love Triangle...New Order

7. Beautiful World...Carolina Liar

8. Believe (Moon Version)...The Bravery

9. Fools...The Dodos

10. Walking on Broken Glass...Annie Lennox

Weirdest playlist ever.

Texting Your Way to Love

You must watch this immediately. Then laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

Texting Your Way to Love