Friday, March 7, 2008

My dad

I was talking to my dad on the phone yesterday. This is a very common occurence. Sometimes we talk multiple times a day. This is mostly because we have unlimited family minutes and jobs where much of our time is spent not doing anything. So, anytime one of us finds out something that the other one finds interesting, we call the other one. For example, yesterday I called my dad to tell him that Haggen bought the Larry's Market in Redmond and also that Errol Knight signed to play with the Bellingham Slam. He said, "Speaking of athletes...I saw that Jake Locker is playing baseball in Bellingham this summer."

I replied in the affirmative, and he went on to outline a plan. The superintendent at the school he teaches at is from Ferndale and knows the Locker family. My dad wants to give him my picture to pass on to Jake Locker, and then have me hang out at the Bellingham Bells games. To quote my dad, "Marrying Jake Locker would even be better than going to business school!"

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha forever.

This is mostly funny because this is the last thing that you would ever expect to come out of my dad's mouth. He is constantly reminding me that I probably shouldn't get married until I am at least 35 (despite the fact he got married at 24), and whenever my mom asks if I'm dating anyone, he says, "Janet! It's PERFECTLY fine if she isn't dating anyone." Apparently, this deal seems too good to pass up. He's probably even pay for the wedding. (He once offered me $5000 if I promised to elope when I do get married.)

In this tribute to my dad post, I will list five important things that he has taught me:

5. B.E.E.F.: Balance, eyes, elbow, follow through. These are the four essentials for a good shot in basketball. While I am not a great basketball player, I do have a nice looking shot.

4. How to easily convert from Celcius to Farenheight in my head. This is especially useful since I mostly listen to Canadian radio. This is how you do it: you multiply the temperature in Celcius by 9/5 and add 32. "Hey!" you may think, "that's not easy!" Well, the secret is estimation. Let's say The Beat 94.5 tells you that the temperature is 19C. To figure that out, I would just say, "Well, 20C is pretty close to 19C." (My dad also taught me the importance of 'pretty close' in math.) 20 x 9/5 (reduce 20 to 4 and cancel the 5) is 36 + 32 is 68F. So you're off a few degrees. Whatever. This isn't analytical chemistry.

Sidenote: this may be why I did not do very well in analytical chemistry.

3. How to shoot a gun. When I was seven, I got a bb gun for Christmas. Mind you, I did not ask for a bb gun. I guess he just wanted me to be ready to inherit a small armory.

2. How to change a tire and the oil. I am rather uncoordinated and messy. If there is a slight possibility that a person could get dirty doing something, it's guarenteed that I will get dirty doing it. My dad said I had to change the oil in my car as part of the 'responsibility of driving'. I think he mostly just liked to laugh at me when I was entirely covered in old motor oil. Same with changing a tire. Les Schwab will put on or take off your snow tires for free. However, it's even freer to make your daughter do it as part of the 'responsibility of driving'. I have had to change a flat tire several times, and I was very glad that I did know how. Thanks, Dad!

1. How to put on my socks. This he learned from John Wooden. First off, you always wear 2 pairs. The first pair you put on inside out, so the seams don't rub on your feet. The second pair absorbs your sweat and keeps your feet dry. You must be very careful that there are no lumps or bumps. Your socks must be absolutely smooth before the shoes go on. I wore my socks like that until I was about 15. I still feel a little guilty when I only wear one pair of socks, and when I do get blisters, I know it's my fault.


KJW said...

Last week, I was trying to remember what B.E.E.F. stood for. You are the ultimate question answerer.

Anonymous said...

I don't know how to break this to you but Jake Locker is already promised to Nicole Raden, her dad worked out this deal right when he started going to UW. But hey Michael Jackson is still available!

D.I. Zzo said...

I played baseball with Jake a couple of summers ago. You should marry him. Stay with him long enough for him to sign a pro deal. Then you can give into your commitment issues and leave with half.

-Dr. D.I. Zzo

Lindsay said...

Two pairs of socks!! That sounds pretty uncomfy.

Along with everyone else, I say marry Jake Locker, because then you could be Lynn Locker and that's just good alliteration.

Nicole Kristine said...

Oh, hey there Lynn Locker.

Wow. I don't even know what to say about the sock ordeal. I feel like you shared this with me once before but I tried to block it out.

Nicole Kristine said...

Haha! HAHAHA! Do you realize that anonymous is my mom?