Dolphin dreams

My dad and I were swimming around in an enormous salt water pool. We were having a grand old time, just swimming around, when a weirdo dolphin swam up to us! it was swimming strangely, kind of flopping around like the one flippered penguin Morgan and I saw in New Zealand. My dad and I decided we should help it out. We realized that this poor dolphin had something stuck in its dolphin teeth! (Why this caused the dolphin to swim badly, I have no idea, but it made sense in dream land.) Once we got the chunk of fish out of its dolphin teeth, I realized that this was no ordinary dolphin! This creature was actually Kelly Walden who had somehow been magically transformed into a dolphin! Once I realized that, I knew I had to transform her back. So I did. Somehow. It's unclear. (I definitely did not use Oculus Reparo or Expelliarmus though because those spells are not very useful.) Anyway, I transformed Kelly back into a human, and you know what? The unobservant clown hadn't even noticed that she'd been turned into a dolphin! So my dad and I laughed and laughed and laughed at her.

This is getting out of hand

So I had another dream about our President. Oh, hey there Barack...

In this dream I was helping the Obamas pick out bathing suits. He and Michelle were looking at matching swimsuits (the pattern on his board shorts matched the pattern on her elegant one piece). 

BHO was worried that his shorts "looked like hammer pants."

I said, "Well, they kind of do...but in the best way possible."

BHO wondered, "Is there a good way for my shorts to resemble hammer pants?"

Then Michelle, Barack, and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Then I woke up.

I am considering changing the title of this blog to "Transcripts of weird dreams about the Obama family".

Dreams of my (fake) father

Last night I dreamed that I was the oldest Obama daughter.

Obama was totally a Harrison-Ford-in-Air-Force-One-badass president and we were riding in a jeep to some do some top secret (most likely badass) mission.

Because it was so top secret, we couldn't have any secret service with us, so Barack had to infiltrate the enemy head quarters solo while I distracted the evil government officials from Some-Other-Country-istan.

But because my father, Barack Obama, did not want me to be unsafe, I did all my secret agent-ing from the back of a highly trained, extremely effective security elephant.

Sadly, I woke up before I found out if our mission had been a successful one.

I have bizarre dreams.

Here is a transcription of the dream I had last night.

Context: Kelly came back from Norway slightly
before Christmas, and we were hanging out. This is our exchange.

Lynn: Oh, hey Kelly, welcome back!
Kelly: Good to see you but I can’t hang out for very long.
Lynn: Oh, what are you doing?
Kelly: Scott and I are going shopping.
Lynn: What are you shopping for?
Kelly: Listen to this! Drew’s mom just called me and told me that when I come over there for Christmas, Drew is going to propose! So I am going shopping for wedding flowers.
Lynn: Oh, wow! Congratulations! When’s the wedding?
Kelly: Oh, not for like another year, and don't say anything because the proposal is supposed to be a surprise.
Lynn: Then why are you going flower shopping right now?
Kelly: Oh, Drew’s mom is going to hire a professional photographer to photograph the proposal, and she wanted me to pick out the flowers I want to have in the house, so the proposal pictures match the wedding pictures.

Kelly also informed me that the flowers were 'red, white, and blue, like the American flag'.

Weird dreams

I have really weird dreams.

Last night, I dreamed I was in Los Angeles because I was playing on Roberto Cavalli's softball team. We were playing against the Chanel team for the championship. We won in an exciting, clash of skills, a real nail-biter until the bitter end. Then Kelly blogged about our victory. Our softball team/fashion entourage was staying at a fancy hotel casino, rather like one you would expect to see in Vegas. Unlike most hotel casinos, however, in order to travel to other parts of the hotel, (the pool, the bar, etc.) you were required to crawl through human size hamster tunnels. While crawling through these tunnels, (before sliding down to the pool area) I ran into Spencer from The Hills. He was a tool. Then I went swimming.

The End